Nat's New York Pizza

"There's a place in Canada where you can enjoy real pizza, New York Style. Eat at Nat's this Thursday."

Thursday came. Nat was completely overwhelmed and under-resourced. After 18 years in business, they suddenly had ten times the customers. A line encircled the block. A quarter of the way down the block was a good day worth of customers.

To keep up with demand, first, seating had to go. Though this was initially to allow any possibility of egress, it conveniently freed up more tables for extra slicing and cash collection. When the staff couldn't manage the crowd, some of the earliest to get their pizza volunteered to take orders, collect cash, slice and distribute slices at the makeshift kitchen overflow stations.

When the air conditioning failed, the community rallied. Fans and window A/C units appeared. Some were in boxes. Some were still dripping condensation from recent use.

The Adam's Family pinball machine in the corner was auctioned off for around $70,000 dollars. An initiative that Nat initially refused (it was actually a machine owned by a local who split the coin profits with the shop every week), but once the price started coming, her initial shouted (though inaudible) objections disappeared.

It opened up another slicing and cash collecting station.

An hour in, Nat asked a couple where they had heard about her shop. Everywhere. The answer was everywhere. The newspaper. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Google searches. Yelp had a five star rating for the shop now. It was a solid 3.5 for as long as she could remember.

Other people just came for the spectacle. A line attracts more lines. Visible momentum builds momentum. A news helicopter covered the scene from above. Too high to act as an additional fan, but low enough to add to the roar of the crowd.

Police were deployed as this initially looked like an un-permitted assembly or even a riot. It wasn't, at least initially. People strictly wanted Nat's real pizza.

Damage was minimal. Some of the air conditioning units came from neighboring buildings and could be replaced easily enough. There were a few cases of heat exhaustion.

Overall, it was fine. Extremely hectic and bizarre, but ultimately lucrative. Friday was eerily quiet by comparison. The regulars had nowhere to sit and were confused by the "little slice or big slice" question that rolled out of the dry mouth of the cashier.

When the lunch rush, about 8 people, Nat looked into what "everywhere" meant.

"There's a place in Canada where you can enjoy real pizza, New York Style. Eat at Nat's this Thursday."

The ad was basic text and a simple image of a pizza. It wasn't as fun as her past promotions. She'd seen it over the past week, but hadn't thought much about it. Business clone ad regulation was rolled back for a couple of years, so it wasn't uncommon for her to see something like this, targeted specifically to her, but linking to a deal on peels, ovens, or a new ingredient supplier.

This one though? It just linked to her shop.

"Nat's pizza."

"What a night last night, huh? Care to comment? This is Joy from Joy at 10 in Seattle."

"Oh hi! Yeah, I honestly don't know what happened or what to do next."

"Are you aware that someone purchased all of the online ads to point to your business?"

"No."

"Do you know what that means?"

"Not really. I've never seen a night like last yesterday."

"We'd love to get you on the show if you're free tomorrow."

"Well, I don't have much as far as ingredients left, but I have a lot to do around here."

"Natalie? Is it ok if I call you Natalie? Listen, I don't think you understand. Every ad available in public inventories was purchased to direct people to your shop last night. All of them. Billions of dollars went into the marketplace. The ad for your store outbid every single competitor on every platform. Initially, we thought it was probably a massive case of fraud or hacking after talking to some of the local pol-"

"I didn't even know about the ad though! I mean, I saw it throughout the week, but -"

"Yeah, Natalie, that was just our first guess, but we were wrong. It wasn't hacking or... anyways, we have a panel set up. We'll send a car at 5AM to get you to the studio by 9 for makeup and wardrobe."

"Well. That's early and I'm still really tired."

"We understand, but you're about to become the most famous person in the world, if you're not already. And please, bring a pizza with you. You'll be well compensated, and we'll take care of everything."

"I'll have to close the shop for the day, and-"

"I hear you. Your shop is going to be a museum ok? It can't be a pizza shop anymore. Can we count on you for tomorrow?"

"I barely understand any of this. Who else is on the panel?"

"The NASA Director, the Secretary-General of the UN, Larry Page, and you."

"I don't know any of those people though."

"Ok, but you're all central to this event."

"Which event is that?"

"We haven't named the segment yet. Do you have a preference, we're leaning towards either 'Nat's Pizza: It's out of this world' or more likely 'First Contact: They come in Pizza'"